Adjusting

Every time I think I have a handle on things, smack....right in the kisser.
My kids are changing by the second. Moving here and there and I am not sure where to start with this entry.
Let's start with the Freshman@college to be. I miss her. She makes me laugh. She's wired and that makes me feel better,...cause,..well I am wired too. She has strong opinions. I like that too. She can be loud like her friends and that's a good thing. She'll be ready when the rest of my hearing goes.
Then there is the Sophomore. She is angry and loving all in one package. We have issues and hopefully in time we'll work them all out. She is great to watch sports with. When she was little she would watch boxing with me. It was so cool to ask her who she thought would win. I am not sure if she is a natural or it was coincidence, but rarely, and I mean rarely was she wrong. I miss her 2.
Miss Junior rounds out the college musketeers. We are the most alike. She acts and professes just like I did, back in the day. Cool. We don't always agree but someday she will learn that I was right......(grin). I am very proud of her for some very special reasons. One is that she no longer has her head down in between her shoulders. She stands upright now and is large and in charge of her life. She is not afraid to admit when she is scared or not sure of herself and that my friends is the sign of maturity. Cool cool
Bringing up the end of the children train is the hairy man child. Oh my has my day come. Mom you were right. Walk over and high five St.Peter will ya.
Damn, he is just like me. He is tender and still a bit fragile which is what I enjoy about him. It will change soon.
So the story is three are out of the nest so to speak and one is a part timer. Wife and I are reeling from the adjustments. We miss our kids even when they are with us. Momma and I are planning road trips and this is a good thing. Not that I am in a hurry, but I am looking forward to when their day comes and there are grand kids and told you so stuff.

Work-work-work

It's Monday if you haven't noticed.
Man is time flying by. When you are as busy as I am lately, there isn't time to look at the clock. I gauge my days lately by the sun...it's either up or down.
I am in the middle of major construction here at the homestead. Basically, it looks like Hurricane Dennis passed through. You could find your way to the garage easily enough by following the wood chips. But I am gaining on the goal and that is a good feeling.
The real goal is down to 17 days. I will be hooked-at-the-hip with my wife.
Can't wait....but...the clock is ticking and there much to do.
I can't imagine what her face is going to look like when she first sees the house.....hmmmmm...happy I am sure.

When Idols Fall

This is a tough look at life. What does one do when their idol falls from the pedestal. How do you feel when you realize that the focus of your attention was on an unrealistic expectation of someone's abilities. For instance, your older brother and the protector of the peace in a large family of brothers and sisters. He could be everything to a younger sibling. He was stronger,faster,smarter and best of all he could be in charge when mom or dad weren't around. Then, the day comes when he moves on to college or the service or even worse gets married and moves away. How betrayed you can feel. Why, because we don't understand that life changes.
When you are a kid, life doesn't change like that because we haven't experienced it. The loss of a Grandparent is a perfect example of here today and gone tomorrow for a child. How did that happen, death, how could that happen to Nanna or Pop Pop. Same goes for the kid who finds out that the baseball star who promoted a hugh fancy commercial about don't do drugs, just got arrested for DWI. Wow, he lied, he's a phony!
The same fall from grace can happen with ones parents. My Lady and I are experiencing this now. The inevitable desintegration of health and mental faculties is more than hard to watch. It's hard to believe. How, why, it can't be. My parents can't remember yesterdays conversation. They raised me, molded me, kicked my ass and sent me to school. How is it they can't do that anymore.
For myself, I hope that I won't fade away quickly. Who knows that maybe if I had spent more time with my folks after I moved on, I could have seen the changes in their abilities sooner. What is important is what I can see now.
I have children and a wife who have me on a pedestal of sorts. They need me to at least keep them fed. I need to let them know that before I start to fail, and need to step off the pedestal, that I love you all...just in case I forget.

The need for children

I was born to be a dad. I miss my kids even when they are near. Due to age, divorce, logistics, you name it, my kids are never all in one spot. My girls, are the closest in age, followed by a strapping new teenage male. My mom used to tell me daily when I was just his age,"your day will come". It was a fond remark, said in jest, love, and the truth. My day has come and he is just as silly,caring,physical and just plain fun to be around as I think I must have been. I was the youngest child just as he is. You learn a lot from that vantage point. For all the heartache that we as an old family,(my exwife) and kids to the new wife and kids, what a true blessing it is to have the relationships I do with the rug-rats. I never imagined myself as a Dad. I knew that I would do ok with Kids simply because they gravitate to me. I recently attended a 4th of July party. The hostess was carrying a guest's child when she greeted me. Before we could exchange a simple hello, the child leaned into the "holdmeyoulooklikesomeonewholovesbabies"
and there I was holding the beautiful kid. Of course we all know that babies feel more at ease with men without hair because we look just like them only bigger. After the full introduction of having a bottle shoved into my mouth(a true bonding moment), the kid looks at my son and suddenly leans towards him. Ok, fruit doesn't fall far from the tree. Although my experience with kids paid off because I know I had a much better look of confidence than my son did at that moment. Right in stride however, hands just like mine, swooped out and awkwardly held onto the bundle of kindred spirit and laughed that nervous laugh that only a teenager can do. Next thing you know, we are surrounded by kids that we don't know and do know and they are all talking at once about everything that is important to them. It was delightful. I had more meaningful conversations with them than any of the adults. My Dad was a listener, I am a listener, and I think my son will be a listener, well when he finally stops talking he might be.

the cost of freedom

How did we as a nation get here? How can we continue to survive with all the things our politicians do wrong? Do I need to continue?
For all of the complaints that we share about what is or isn't perfect with our country, stop for a moment and think of the one thing that let's us complain in the first place....FREEDOM!
If you are lucky enough to have known a Veteran or if you are like my wife and I, both of our fathers are alive and survived WWII, call them up and say thank you. Please, if you are driving by a cemetery and you see the thoughtful US Flags waving by a Tomb stone, give a nod and say thanks. Everything that you and I enjoy as a citizen of the US has been protected with more than guns and bombs.
Have a safe and wonderful 4th and take a moment to say thanks to our fallen heroes and all of the men and women of the armed forces.

As the Days pass By

My Lady was explaining to me about one of the prior days events that happened in the world and suddenly something occurred to me. The days of waiting for her final arrival at our home was quickly approaching. Seldom in my entire life have I concentrated on one thing for very long. Usually I have a couple of balls in the air while I walk through my day. From the day I got beat up in Family Court, I have focused on building projects that needed to be finished before ML moved in. As my late mother would say,"the world can go to hell in a hand basket, I need to get this done". So, I am a bit behind on the world events due to focus. I hope that the world continues to turn whilst I workith my butt off.

Banging and hammering

I had a nice conversation with my neighbor. He was out doing the dad thing for his youngest son. Our town's road crew was scraping the sides of the road to reclaim lost territory due to the insidious grass that I can't grow. The dirt they scooped up was being dumped exactly where my neighbor asked for it, on his son's property. "Boy is he going to be surprised when he gets home" said the proud dad. "I hope to have it all spread out by the time he gets out of work". Dads are cool
He asked me what all the ruckus was up my way. Funny how some folks pay attention to noise. I told him I was "fix-n" the attic up "inta" an office
for my wife. He just smiled and asked if I was ever going to be done "fix-n"
I said I hope not, cause I would just get in trouble if I didn't keep my hands busy. Busy they are too. If I had time I would put in an elevator. Two flights of stairs up and then realize you need something else has gotten old really quick. We are getting there and momma is in for a surprise when she finally moves in. T minus 32 days and counting.
Oh my God....I better get back to hammer-n
  • Current Music
    Whistle-while-you-work

High School Graduations and Beyond

Today was a special celebration. Family, friends, even an appearance by the principle made for a great day for the new graduate. The setting was the grandparents garage,box-fan in the window,good food, and "back-in-the-day"
playing in the background conversation.
Funny how you some how adapt to your surroundings when you attend a function like this. You are paraded around by the sister-n-law and introduced to familiar faces but don't remember names. Somehow, you find something to talk about and the day just disappears.
I glanced over at the new introduction to the working world and wondered what it felt like again. There is a certain simplicity to the world when you leave the confines of high school. We all know that all too soon, it becomes very apparent that things like toilet paper don't appear magically. Tuition,car payments, rent, oh my god....I'm broke. Ah way back when.
Do you remember waking up in the morning and the refrigerator produced endless supplies of milk and butter? For me there might be a list to add to the expected chores when I woke up during summer vacation. But until I left highschool, I wasn't concerned about where the next roll came from, it was there.
I hope that this graduate's journey to reality is a kind one. My wish is that her successes will be twice that of the failures she will experience.
From what I can see, mom and dad did a fine job. I hope that they will bask in their success, despite the inevitable tears.

Making something good out of something bad

It has always been my intention to use this space for highlighting the goodness in everything. Whether it be a social topic or a personal one, I am convicted to pen words that are uplifting and inspirational.
I won't elaborate on how not a court official should act, but will try to describe the life after enduring a helpless situation.
It took a couple of days to calm down from my ordeal. Those who are closest to me offered words of encouragement and concern for my recovery. Truthfully, most of what was expressed bounced off my head and very little that got in stayed. What really became apparent is how much I love my son. How passionate I had become to defend his rights as a responsible individual. As a team, we bonded in a way only a father and son can. And when I became dehydrated enough so as not to cry, it became very clear the optimist's half-full glass. My son and I have a relationship that is as rewarding and respectful as any relationship one could ask for. For a year, in the shadow of a bitter conflict between two parents, a bond was maturing between us. The communication between us has no boundries. We lost a battle not the war.
So he and I march on. We don't like what was handed us. But together, we are making the best of it. We made a team. A strong team. We are invincible.
  • Current Mood
    accomplished

Making something good out of something bad

It has always been my intention to use this space for highlighting the goodness in everything. Whether it be a social topic or a personal one, I am convicted to pen words that are uplifting and inspirational.
I won't elaborate on how not a court official should act, but will try to describe the life after enduring a helpless situation.
It took a couple of days to calm down from my ordeal. Those who are closest to me offered words of encouragement and concern for my recovery. Truthfully, most of what was expressed bounced off my head and very little that got in stayed. What really became apparent is how much I love my son. How passionate I had become to defend his rights as a responsible individual. As a team, we bonded in a way only a father and son can. And when I became dehydrated enough so as not to cry, it became very clear the optimist's half-full glass. My son and I have a relationship that is as rewarding and respectful as any relationship one could ask for. For a year, in the shadow of a bitter conflict between two parents, a bond was maturing between us. The communication between us has no boundries. We lost a battle not the war.
So he and I march on. We don't like what was handed us. But together, we are making the best of it. We made a team. A strong team. We are invincible
  • Current Mood
    accomplished